Well, obviously this depends on which continents you might be on, some being less accessible than others. I am in sunny Wiltshire. My husband-to-be, on the other hand, has spent all but seven weeks of our engagement in Iraq. There lies the potential problem. Communication. Skype is a wonderful invention, and had it not been for Skype, then my groom wouldn’t have had a great deal of input at all. The ball would have certainly been in my court. ‘Hurraah!’ I here some of you say, no grumpy grooms! We can make all the decisions! And in some cases, I’m sure that is definitely preferred scenario Number 1. The wedding planning experience may often leave grooms begging for a reprieve, and ‘guy’ time where they do just need to check that their manhood is still present. Decisions on centre pieces, colours of the bridesmaids’ dresses and hand-making party favours, meetings with the caterers and photographers all may just be one step too far. After all, shopping for a ring and plucking the courage up to propose was what we really wanted them to do anyway and they’ve come up trumps on that one.
So what about scenario Number 2? This is of course the scenario where your groom is equally as excited about planning a wedding as you and is eager to involve himself where possible. Believe me, it does happen, I’m engaged to one of these phantom grooms. There are of course parts of the wedding that he doesn’t have a great deal of interest in, choosing the colour scheme being one of them. Fine by me. It took me long enough to come to a decision on that one without the input of a man without such a keen eye for colour. However, when it’s come to injecting our personality as a couple, he’s been right up there with me, suggestions I’ve given often being met with, ‘Yeah! Let’s do that! Han, I love it!’
Skype has been our saving grace. Whilst some of the planning meetings I have had to do alone, he’s always been there, on the end of a keyboard, headset at the ready, to hear about progress on the wedding or to help me make a decision on party favours, or decorations for the bar. The Bar. That is his domain, eager to inject his own stamp on the wedding, he has come up with some great ‘alternative’ ideas which he is mightily proud of, all linked to our holiday to Maui last year, and actually, they’re pretty great.
For the most part, he has put up with my frequent and probably rather annoying Skypes about the minutest detail of the wedding. For that, I think he probably deserves a medal. It doesn’t matter whether he hasn’t had time to have lunch that day, or he’s just about to deliver a report he’s written, my future husband will make time to humour me on my next idea for the wedding. So perhaps that’s where being on different continents has worked for us. He hasn’t been here to have to decide whether to go to the pub or to stay at home and make wedding invitations, and when he has been on leave, he is has not had to be dragged to meet the caterer. He has come willingly… as long as I leave the little details to keep me occupied when he’s away.
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